I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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