3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
