Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
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That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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