If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
