did you get engaged???
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
