Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
