Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
