so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
