So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
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Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
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What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Drunk is not a location!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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