Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize