In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm really into asian looking animals
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
