Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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