is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
