Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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