A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I still have a little drunk in my system
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
