We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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