gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
