hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
