Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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