I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
