just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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