i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
