I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
