I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
