i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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