my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
