somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
