3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
