i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
