i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
