Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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