I'm really into asian looking animals
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Hippo gnu deer
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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