why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
