I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I could fuck to npr.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize