Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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