He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
