A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
