Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
