Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
