There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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