yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
