he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm at about main and main street
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize