i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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