Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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