how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize