Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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