I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Randomize
