there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
