ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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