you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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