With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
