So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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