I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
