office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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