I hope mine doesn't look like that
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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