she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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