Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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