do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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