After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
