Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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