...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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