I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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